Christ saving the party in IMAX.

Cana is the Louvre's largest painting,weighing more than 1.5 tons and stretching across 22 feet by 32.5 feet, which equates to 70 square meters of painted area. Nearly 130 highly personalized characters populate the scene, including King Francis I of France drunkenly sneaking a look at his wife's bosom at the far left.

Veronese won the commission through his best bud Palladio, an architect working on the Benedictine monastery on the island of San Giorgio Maggiore in the Veneto. Veronese got to decorate the monastery's refectory (dining room). The Wedding Feast at Cana tells the story of Christ's first miracle, turning water into wine. It sets the stage for the Eucharist and everything, sure. But it also shows Christ as a real bro, by making sure the party doesn't pause for one of the apostles goes on a beer run. Cana cemented Veronese's career and guaranteed years of work decorating refectories for other monasteries. Celebrating his rise to the top, Veronese puts himself, Titian, Tintoretto, and Bassano as the musicians rocking out beneath Jesus.

After essentially annexing Italy, Napoleon ordered French troops in the 1790s to ship Cana to Paris. Question: How do 18th century soldiers ship a 32.5 foot long, centuries old masterpiece across the European continent? Answer: By cutting it in half. Once reassembled in France, the painting went straight to the Louvre. After Napoleon was kicked the hell out of power, France repatriated many of Italy's looted works. Cana remained in France, as those concerned felt transporting the work might lead to irreparable damage or outright destruction. Italy accepted a primo work by Le Brun in Cana's stead. The painting's history has since been one near miss after another, for instance when it was stored in a crate at a French port during the Franco-Prussian War, and then getting rolled up and trekked across France in the back of a truck to keep it from the Nazis during World War II.

In 1992, the painting was severely damaged at the Louvre during a bout of restoration. By severely damaged, we're talking metal poles tearing holes through the canvas, one of which was some four feet long. The Louvre was super embarrassed by the incident and wouldn't allow anyone to view the painting in its state of utmost distress. The museum went so far as to board up the gallery to keep looky-loos from sneaking a peek and moving Cana's gallery-mate, the Mona Lisa, to another part of the museum. The Louvre got further egg on their face after admitting the painting was damaged two days before the rippin' and tearin' when water splattered on it from a leaking air vent during a torrential downpour. Get it together, Louvre!