Where Johannes Vermeer definitely maybe painted about sex.

Vermeer was never a rockstar painter in his lifetime. He never sung to the masses, unless it was in church. He never sold-out, and in fact, he rarely sold a painting.

He grew up in Delft, a city in southern Holland. His town’s name means to dig in Dutch, and he seemingly took this to heart. He dug deep and rooted himself there for life, living an isolated existence. He lived with his family in the home of his mother-in-law, who provided him with a small monthly income. The only vice he is noted for was the possession of debts. Like van Gogh, he cut something out of his life for the passion of his craft. Unfortunately for Vermeer, it was his income rather than his ear.

With his painting Woman with a Lute, Vermeer seems to suggest that he had more dirt on his hands than insolvency. Typical of Vermeer, the painting’s subject is a woman at home in the middle of something. Here, the subject is tuning a lute. But why?

Look at the room. It’s a total mess. Music books are strewn along the table, a chair is out of place, and an instrument, known as the viola de gamba, lays somewhat hidden on the floor near the woman’s foot. As art critics have noted, the piece seems to suggest a duet between the woman and another musician on the viola de gamba, an instrument used primarily for accompaniment and played most often by men (it even looks like a big dick). But, come on art critics: a musical duet can’t quite explain the disheveled room and the disheveled hair. This was a salacious symphony. A symphonic sexy-time that was so suite, it untuned her lute.

Like the poop joke ironies of Vermeer’s contemporary Pieter De Hooch’s Woman with Children in an Interior, Vermeer seems to be winking at the high manners of the Dutch Golden Age, the era in which he painted in. But rather than make a hidden image of someone pooping, Vermeer suggests sexiness through the power of musical instruments. Maybe Vermeer really was a rocker.