Alanson Fisher fails at everything...but turns out he's a decent painter.

In some ways Fisher could be considered a Renaissance man, but the little information that can be found on him seems to imply he might have been more of a failure at everything he tried. He was a farm laborer, sign painter, ran a machinist shop, until finally deciding on the life of an artist. Cause hey, if you fail at life might as well do something fun!

The only thing I know him for is his portrait of Harriet Beecher Stowe, and not going to lie, he’s the afterthought when you talk about the famous subject. And then he has some fruit portraits. And we’re not talking about people made out of fruits….we’re talking about fruit-fruit, like the stuff you eat. He lived such a thrilling life. Portraits and fruit portraits. What a square.

And because Mr. Fisher is such a bore I say lets fish for some more interesting, totally not-true theories about his humdrum existence:

• He was hired to paint Stowe’s portrait for the theater lobby because he thought we was going to paint pictures of saucy actresses in their sexy bloomers.
• He was actually a secret spy from the south who was going to try to assassinate Stowe for her blasphemous book but because of Stowe’s modesty he never got the chance to be alone with her.
• The most likely: he was in cahoots with John Wilkes Booth, and helped plan the Lincoln murder but totally chickened out in the end and Booth’s escape plan fell through and was caught. Yes! Boom! Mystery solved!