Where abandonment issues result in magnificent art, you'll find Cristofano Allori.

He had a leg up in the art world by being the son of Alessandro Allori. Allori Jr. studied in the workshop of Allori Sr. until stomping out one day because of a difference of opinion over what painting should be. Cristofano wanted to dabble in really cutting edge stuff like colors. All the colors, especially bright ones. Alessandro... just didn't. Wasn't his thing. This lead to quite the artistic rift between father and son, with Jr. calling Sr. a heretic once out of the shop. Note to all the tweens out there, if you want to get under your parent's skin, call them a heretic. Really let it fly. You'll win every argument! And they'll be impressed with your vocabulary. 

Even though things ended weird for Cristofano as his father's employee, he eventually made Papa proud. At least, kind of. Cristofano was a quintuple threat. Besides the painting, Allori the Younger was known for his poetry, music skills, impersonations, and joke telling. Painting paid the bills. Only a handful of works survive, though. This is partly due to his perfectionism. Nothing went out the door unless he languished over every brushstroke. Then again, painting through his hangovers certainly didn't speed things along.

Cristofano was a party animal. As such, given his social standing and the time period, he had a mistress. And he fell hard for her, Maria di Giovanni Mazzafirri. He got way drunk off her lady lumps and gave her all his money. Then she left him. Maria was Cristofano's model twice. Once as Judith (of Judith and Holofernes fame, with him playing the part of the decapitated general) and once as Mary Magdalene. Another of Allori's depictions of Maria as Magdalene was a drawing that he angrily tore apart in front of Michelangelo's grandnephew (also named Michelangelo). This Michelangelo the Younger taped the drawing back together, making sure to write a note on the back that Allori didn't rip the sketch apart because it featured his lost love. He destroyed the doodle because it just didn't meet his standards.

Born October 17, 1577 - Died April 1, 1621

Famous for three things

1. his renowned dad, Alessandro Allori

2. his stunningly awesome mistress Mazzafirra, and

3. his equally awesome painting of Judith with the head of Holofornes, in which Mazzafirra is Judith and Allori is Holofornes.