Let’s get this straight: pretty boy banker Bindo Altoviti and Renaissance painter Raphael were not the same person.

The distinction may seem like a no-brainer. Altoviti’s baby blues and flowing blonde locks easily distinguish him from the artist’s brown-eyed self portraits— contacts hadn’t quite caught on in 1515. Yet despite obvious differences in appearance, Altoviti’s visage was misidentified as Raphael’s for over two centuries. Historians have since dispelled the myths, but it’s amusing to imagine Raphael securing a bottle of 16th century bleach before painting his own likeness.

Bindo’s good looks, combined with a prestigious banking career, made him a celebrity in Rome. The comely young socialite also made his mark on the arts, establishing friendships with big names like Michelangelo and Benvenuto Cellini, an Italian sculptor and jack-of-all-trades. Talent notwithstanding, Cellini made a less-than-trustworthy companion— in an eerily blasé autobiography he would recount his life in threats, stabbings, and murders.  

Like Cellini, Michelangelo stood out from Altoviti’s star-studded social circle. Like any steadfast bosom buddy, he shared Bindo’s enemies, in particular the opulent Agostino Chigi. Chigi may have lacked Bindo’s luscious locks, but his wealth was limitless. To demonstrate his affluence, he served dinner guests on silver dishes and then threw the plates to the river below. Naturally, servants hid by the banks to bring the goods home. No wonder Bindo couldn’t stand him— Chigi was the Draco Malfoy of the Renaissance.

Portrait of Bindo Altoviti’s reputation has suffered many a critical blow. Some have declared the work too frigid and technically deficient to match Raphael’s other masterpieces, suggesting that it has been misattributed. 19th century critic Morelli went so far as to implicate Altoviti’s ear in his appraisal, believing its shape to be suspiciously uncharacteristic of Raphael. Other critics, however, praise the portrait for coloring even Titian would envy. After all, the king of Bavaria paid a heavy price for this tableau back in 1808. If it’s good enough for royalty, it’s good enough for us.