It definitely takes a lot of money to look this cheap, but having Warhol paint a portrait of you helps too.

No doubt, Dolly Parton is the wisdom behind some of those words and who better to immortalize this queen of country music than Andy Warhol? I love it when an icon paints an icon. And boy, did Andy love his icons. #MarilynMonroe. But when you’re looking for blonde bombshells to paint, you can’t find anyone blonder or bombshellier than Ms. Parton! And as if Dolly Parton didn’t already have enough work done on her herself, Warhol goes right ahead and adds some enhancements of his own...but the non-surgical kind. His paint job makes her look even more tawdry and garish than she does in person. With blonde hair so blonde that it’s practically bleached out to match the white of the canvas beneath and lips so red that they could be porn for the ripest cherries, this portrait must’ve done Dolly proud! But it does leave a lot to be desired in terms of depicting her fashion sense and famous surgical enhancements...Andy could’ve gone for a life-sized one to show off her fab bod.

Warhol must have decided to make this silkscreen nearly a year after he spoke to Dolly for his magazine, called Interview, alongside one of his colleagues, Maura Moynihan. Speaking of which...another person who Warhol interviewed for this magazine then did a portrait of was Michael Jackson. He was all about the celebs. When you have a heart-to-heart with a person like Dolly about her love for food and sex, how she makes a better whore than a secretary, then digs deep into her childhood and life as celebrity, that ought to inspire you enough to paint her picture. But rumor has it that this portrait, which was valued around $1.5 million, didn’t end up generating the hype it should’ve because word got out that it wasn’t painted by Mr. Warhol himself. A fellow named Horst Weber who worked with Andy in the infamous Factory, confessed that he was the one who probably produced this portrait. It’s likely that this is true, because Andy did have countless people working with him in the Factory churning out these silkscreens. And Weber insisted that he produced a large number of Dolly Partons so this was almost positively his. But Sotheby’s insisted that it was a genuine Warhol and not a fake, so that their credibility as an auction house wouldn’t be tarnished. Auction scandals aside, is it just me or does the dubious identity of the author make this silkscreen even more appropriate for the subject?