Remember when you were walking around naked and other naked people just wouldn’t stop staring at you?

Like, what is that about?! WOMAN, WE ARE BOTH DRESSED THE SAME AKA IN THE NUDISTS NADA COLLECTION. Or wait…is that a lustful gaze? In that case, awkward breast shielding may apply.

Fed up of industrialized Europe, Gaugin moved to the beaches of Tahihti, which he thought would be a totally outmoded and primitive place. Kind of like when you want to go to a place with no Internet. Really rough it. No such luck, since Tahiti was totally colonized and catching up with European advancements. Gaugin managed to impregnate a couple of nubile fourteen year-old girls in this new land anyway, and also built a house there that was the center of revelry and debauchery for all locals. So, moving to Tahiti wasn’t a total waste. He was most proud of his collection of forty-five porno prints that he’d collected in Port Said, displayed in this house of sin.

Which brings me to this painting…in my mind, given Gaugin’s background of well-meant depravity; the guy was bound to have started a few orgies. And in moments of total undress, you can imagine some of these disrobed young minors staring awkwardly (and curiously) at each other. This could have inspired said painting. The girl supposedly covering her breast could also have been caught mid-fondle. Or maybe both girls are just jealous but pretending not to be of each other’s beach bods. Breast-shielding lady does seem to be rolling her eyes and saying, “woman, please.” Too many possibilities. Also, what is with the equally undressed mutt in the background? Is this a nude-dog-walkers beach or was he part of the foreplay?? We hope no animals were harmed during the making of this painting!

This painting is definitely also reminiscent of childhood-same-sex-exploration-gotten-out-of-hand, like when you see your best friend naked by “accident”, and you’re giggling so hard that you touch each other by “mistake”…have I said too much? ‘Scuse me while I awkwardly shield some of my own naked truths.