Vase of Flowers and Conch Shell presents Vallayer-Coster at her finest: meticulous brushstrokes in a still-life that’s technically brilliant and emotionally unstimulating.

For what it’s worth, the most swanky of the filthy-rich French delighted in these floral wonders. Vallayer-Coster’s clients included Marie Antoinette, Empress Joséphine, a handful of counts, and a couple of marquis. Although these nobles would surely deem their own artistic taste superior, it’s hard to imagine they had much time to critically examine tableaus given their consuming work of oppressing peasants.

We can grudgingly forgive Anne Vallayer-Coster for her part in the atrocity that is Rococo, if only for her still-life talent. (Watch your back, François Boucher. The same doesn’t apply to your blushing damsels and simpering cherubs). Still, this bouquet-and-shell combo layers the kitsch on a mite too heavy. We’re not talking Jeff Koons shiny-gold King of Pop kitsch, either. No, Vase of Flowers and Conch Shell borders a bit on the “my great grandmother would love this on a dinner plate” side of kitsch, that perilous land of garish floral patterns where only Dolores Umbridge and the French aristocracy venture.

 This isn’t to say the still-life is devoid of charm. Vallayer-Coster followed in the footsteps of still-life master Chardin, who at his peak was the highest-paid artist in the Academy. The blooms themselves, anemones and marguerites, showcase the subject matter she cashed in on. Vallayer-Coster’s flowers were in high demand during her lifetime, and with help from Marie Antoinette she lived and worked at the Louvre. This painting, part of a three part series, was praised by critic Diderot for its “truthfulness.” Unfortunately, In the same breath he called her touch “cold,” and said her brush lacked “fineness.” Perhaps he would have preferred one of her more intense still-lifes, a carnal array of dead game? You can’t please them all.